WTF Konoha!
by Nohope1982
Summary: What happens when an "innocent" ROB takes an interest in a stubborn mortal? Angst, pain, and hopefully some hilarity will ensue. Heavy Gamer elements along with plenty of angst and a dash of snark. M for Language, Graphic(gratuitous) Violence, and maybe if I can get over my blush response... a dash of lemon. Read at own risk! Also I own none of the rights to Naruto or The Gamer!
1. chapter 1

Konoha... What the Fu...

Author's Note: I am attempting to write this on my phone, so patience with the whole process would be much appreciated. this is also, sadly enough, my first fan fiction.

"Speaking "

 _'Thinking'_

 **[System Announcement]**

 **Chapter 1. What the hell is this?**

A darkened void presses in around me, stretching of into silent infinity. Floating wightless in the darkness, I couldn't help but think that being dead wasn't that bad...

The dying itself had been the worst, most horrendous experience of my life, but apparently that was over now. I could, thankfully, no longer feel my body.

Now thanks to the darkness of the void I found myself in, as well as the turn my thoughs had taken, memories began to assault my mind. Phantom pain and the horrific images boiled through me, made all the worse by the nonexistent state of my body...

Molten, burning plastic and shards of red-hot metal spraying towards me...

The sudden torrent of heat and noise from the ruptured side of the dying machine I had been working at...

Agony tearing it's way across my jaw as I jerk my head away, instinctively trying to escape the blast of searing pain...

Metal, the edges twisted sharp and glowing red hot as the pieces blur towards me...

The feeling of gravity in all of it's terrible inevitability as I am slammed into the floor by the blast...

Jagged, rasping screams tearing their way out of my throat, dragging the smell of burning flesh and the accrid stench of molten plastic into my nose...

Sight boiled out of half my vision in a rush of heat and pain. My other eye blurrs with the sight of my sister trying to scramble towards me. Her eyes are frantically wide as she tries to reach me, arms outstretched from where I had pushed her out of the way of the blast...

The jerking, choked gasps as my metal punctured lungs desperately try to draw air as they fill with blood...

Every heartbeat slamming in a thunderous roar of pressure, seconds seemingly stretch into hours behind my pain-filled darkened vision...

Finally, mercifully, everything goes away...

Gritting my teeth against the assault of memory and pain that seems to go on forever, I hear my voice echoing out in a tearing shout across the dark infinity...

"It was worth it!"

 ***PING***

 **[Would you like to play a Game?]**

 **[Yes/No]**

"What the Fuck!" Echoes across the void


	2. Chapter 2 Around and Around We Go!

**Chapter 2. Around and Around We Go!**

Author's Note: sorry if it's taking me a while to update, and yes, I realize the first chapter(s) are kinda short... but bear with me please.

"speaking"

 _'thinking'_

 **[system notification]**

My awareness is drawn to the writing on the large blue screen that is the only change in the darkness. It looks similar to the screens from that Korean web comic...

 _'This can't end well...'_ I can't help the thought as I focus my mind on... 'Yes'.

The semi-transparent blue screen blurs in front of my eyes, the words twisting and changing...

 ***PING***

 **[Congratulations! You Died a Stupidly Heroic Death! You gain the following stat adjustments: an additional 2 to Strength, Stamina, Charisma and Luck! As well as a -2 to Intelligence and Wisdom!]**

 _'Nope... Just a whole lotta nope on this'_

My thoughts have no affect on the words on the screen...

 _'Yep, all of my nope.'_

 ***PING***

 **[You have chosen/been chosen to receive the Power: "The Gamer!"]**

My eyes narrow at the enthusiasmof the words on the screen.

' _So... some R.O.B.(Random Omnipotent Bitch/Bastard) has decided to fuck with my life... Wait... my death... If they didn't cause it in the first place.'_

Laughter rolls through the infinite darkness as the irony of my thoughts catch up with me...

I'm already a gamer... well I was. A fourty five year old anime fan, roleplaying twinkage specialist, and all around g/n/f (geek, nerd, or freak).

 _'Oh Han Jee-Han, you have no idea...'_

My thoughts are a fuzzy blur as a chesire worthy grin stretches it's way across my non-existant lips.

 ***PING***

 **[This Power allows you to live your new life as if you were a video game character! It unlocks the ability to view your physical and mental capacities as numerical statuses(stats), allowing you to rapidly improve your capability. This is done through training, as well as additional stat points gained by leveling. ]**

And now the only resource that matters is time...

 ***PING***

 **[Are you prepared for the random dimensional displacement to the world of your new life? Different worlds will affect your stats in different ways, causing a gain of additional stats, perks, backgrounds, or skills. Due to the variables involved, primary character creation is unavailable until after the designation of your new world.]**

Huh... Was expecting to stay in the same world.

 ***PING***

 **[Spin the Wheel of Random Reincarnation/Re-Embodiment?]**

 **[Yes/No]**

Oh Shit...


	3. Chapter 3 Death, please not by Snu Snu!

**Chapter 3. Death, please not by snu snu!** Author's Note: Gonna try for longer chapters, but I make no promises! Thanks for the reviews, faves,and follows! If you have questions, PM me and I will try to answer them... no spoilers though!

"Speaking"

 _'thinking'_

 **[System Announcement]**

The screen before me blurrs, expanding into the form of a giant wheel. Hundreds of lines expand from the center outward, forming wedges covered in writing and symbols. A massive pointer, the tip needle thin, fades into being.

Eyes widening as I take in the words on the wedges, my breathing speeding up as I feel a chill of fear run up my spine.

Titles. Lots and lots of titles. Movies, books, comics, anime and manga titles dance across the wedges in an almost uncountable blur. The titles look like anything and everything I have ever read, watched, or even shown an interest in.

This is Not a good thing.

I know most people would be thinking... _'How awesome is this!' 'I get a chance to live in one of my favorite fictions!' 'I get a chance to meet my favorite characters!'_

Idiots.

None of the materials I have ever read or watched can be considered "nice" or even "tame" by most standards.

Think about it, what drives all of the great dramas... Conflict. Physical or social conflict drives the great works, it's what draws us in and fascinates us.

That's what nobody seems to understand, that yes, the drama is entertaining... When it's happening to someone else!

A few of the titles on the wedges standout more than the others, just from the amount of worry that fills me at the prospect of ending up in one of them.

 **The Dragon Ball Z Universe**

 **The Dragon Ball Z Abridged Universe**

 **The Dresden Files**

 **Tokyo Ghoul**

 **Hellsing**

 **Hellsing Abridged**

 **La Blue Girl**

Any of these worlds would be horrible disater for me to be reincarnated into.

Being reborn into the DBZ universe has several large problems, one being Goku. Yes, I consider Goku a problem. The reason is very simple, unless I were to start training at the same time he first began, there's absolutely no way I can compete with a Saiyan... Without being one.

Worse would being dropped into the DBZ abridged world. Two words state my entire issue with being able to survive that world:

"Mr. POPO" Nuff Said.

If that's not enough to make my point... How about these six little words:

"Dude... You got owned by Krillin."

Yeah... Nope. All of my "Nope ".

The problem with the Dresden Files, Tokyo Ghoul, and any pf the Hellsings, are virtually the same... I would end up as something or someone's lunch, either physically or spiritually.

Though I am not sure if "Gamer's Mind" would protect me from purely psychic predators, although on that note... That's one skill that I'm sure I have. The reason for this is pretty simple, I'm not a gibbering mess at the thought of my impending rebirth and most likely quick to follow death.

Yeeeaah... Once again, all of my "Nope".

As for La Blue Girl, my problem with that world is actually very easy to explain. I would simply like my penis to not end up the same shape as a banana that has a fire cracker go off in the center. If that's not a cringe worthy enough visual for you, two words: Testicle Implosion.

I know the whole "Sex = Death" theme is big in a lotta horror genre, and a lot of hentai, but this one can get a little extreme!

Still not as bad as overfiend... oh hell, it's on the wheel...

Death by Snu Snu!

Nope!

 ***PING***

 **[Due to insightful thought about the nature of your current situation, you gain the following: an additional 1 to Wisdom and Intelligence!]**

Really? ...No, Really?

"Okay, let's do this thing."

Concentrating on the wheel, it spins up in a dizzying blur, the titles a calydescope of swirling lines. As the spinning wheel that is about to decide my fate slows, I can't help the sarcastic chuckle that falls into the darkness.

Hopefully whatever R.O.B. decided that I would be entertaining, and yes... I firmly believe this is being done for entertainment, allows the damn wheel to be random.

 ***PING***

 **[Due to the insightful thoughts about the being/beings behind your current situation, you gain the following: an additional 1 to Wisdom and Intelligence!]**

Ok. I can't help laughing about that... It's either laugh or scream at this point.

The wheel slows and my excitement builds... slower and slower until...

 ***PING***

 **[Congratulations! The "Ehhem" random World/Universe/Dimension that has been selected by completely random chance is: The World of the Elemental Nations!]**

Great... Death by... Well, everything. Jinchur-fuckin-riki, rape-faced snake sannin, and more shadowy cabals bent on world domination than you can shake a kunai at!

"Oh joy... fuckin ninja!"

I have the feeling that I'm gonna be saying that a lot...

I am so fucked... and not the good way!

Is it too late for me to pick the La Blue Girl world?


	4. Chapter 4 What's in a Name?

**Chapter 4. What's in a Name?**

Author's Note: Once again, thanks to everyone who faved', followed, and reviewed! Now let's get this show on the road!

"speaking"

'thinking

 **[System Announcement]**

The blue light from the screens in front of me jogs my curiosity, and I can't help looking down... and seeing nothing!

My body is faded, transparent as a wraith... No real details, just a vague slightly glowing outline. I should be panicking right about now...

 ***PING***

 **[Now that your new world has been chosen, certain options are now available!]**

The "Completely Random" wheel fades from sight as another screen takes its place.

 **Character Creation**

Save/Load

 **KP Store**

 **Options**

Exit

Huh... The save, load, and exit buttons are greyed out.

Okay, first things first... _'Options'_ the thought brings up another screen...

 **Audio Settings**

 **Visual Settings**

 **System Settings**

I'm not going to mess with the audio or visual settings, at least for the moment.

The system settings however, a pretty long list that contains four entries that I quickly focus on.

 **[Audio Notification of System Pop-Ups]**

On **/Off]**

 **[Auto-Enter Dungeon Instances]**

On **/Off]**

 **[Auto-Looting]**

 **[On/** Off

 **[Auto-Minimize Pop-Ups during combat]**

 **[On/** Off

It takes me a few seconds of focus to set my preferences. Hopefully, I managed to choose the right setting to turn that annoying ping tone off!

A quick thought closes out the options screen and brings back up what I guess is the main menu.

 _'Character Creation'_

 **[Would you like a tutorial?]**

 **[Yes/No]**

Well... Of course I do!

'Yes'

Only a complete idiot would skip the tutorial in a game he doesn't know, especially if it's a matter of life or death.

 **[To begin, please say or think the word "Status".]**

 **[This will bring up a screen listing your physical, mental, and spiritual capabilities as numerical measurements.]**

 **[This page also displays certain personal details, such as: Name, Title, Race, Class, Age, Sex, and Level. This page also displays a short description.]**

 **[Your initial appearance can also be edited on this page, this option will complete the manifestation of your incorporeal body. The status page may be displayed in a shorthand form, this option may be toggled on/off in the system settings screen.]**

A quick thought of _'status'_ later...

 **Name: (** Enter New Designation

 **Title:** Reincarnated

 **Race: (** Default: Human

 **Class:** None

 **Age:** Set current age

 **Sex: (** Set current gender

 **Level: 1**

 **Experience: 0/100 to Next Level**

 **HP(Health Points): 70 / 70**

 **HP Regeneration: .7 per hour**

 **CP(Chakra Points): 75 / 75**

 **CP Regeneration: 1.7 per hour**

 **STM(Stamina Points): 35 / 35**

 **STM Regeneration: .7 per hour**

 **STR(Strength): 7**

 **VIT(Vitality): 7**

 **DEX(Dexterity): 5**

 **INT(Intelligence): 15**

 **WIS(Wisdom): 17**

 **CHR(Charisma): 7**

 **LUK(Luck): 6**

 **Description: (Insert Name Here) is the newest individual to receive the Power of the gamer. Sure that this is a vicious and unfunny joke on the part of some R.O.B., (Insert Name Here) has begun to make paranoid plans to gain power for the purpose of survival in his new world. The R.O.B., who is currently laughing at (Insert Name Here)'s plans, finds (Insert Name Here)'s attitude towards them amusing.**

 **[ Edit Appearance]**

I know my wraith-like body has begun to solidify into it's potential... Because my left eye is twitching as I read the last bit in the description.

 **[Due to the R.O.B. finding your introspections amusing, you gain the following: An additional 3 to Charisma!]**

Shuddering as I look away from the notification and back towards the staus screen, I can't help but feel my eyes being drawn to one particular part... And then my mind churns in a sudden, sickening, realization...

 **Name: (Enter New Designation)**

Why can't I remember my name?

The words seem to pulse larger on the screen as I frantically search through my memories for my name...

Each memory that that I can't find my name in begins to fade...

Each one jarring out of order, a box of puzzle pieces dashed and scattered on the floor of my mind...

 **Name: (Enter New Designation)**

I can feel the emotions being dampened... Fucking Gamer's Mind...

I can feel the skill straining to contain the stormof panic and rage that is rising inside me..

The words on the screen scream out at me louder in the silent darkness of the void, pulsing in rythm to the sudden thunder of my rising heartbeat...

 **[WARNING : Gamer's Mind is unable to compensate for emotional overload!]**

I can't find my name.

There's nothing to hang on to.

No name means there's no "me" left.

My eyes narrow at the words on the screen...

 **Name: (Enter New Designation)**

A name is one of the first signs that we are thinking beings, and not mindless beasts.

A name seperates us from everything around us...

Let's us know that we are individuals at the most basic level...

And the fucking R.O.B. took it from me!

 **[ WARNING: Gamer's Mind is unable to compensate for emotional overload!]**

My psyche, my sense of self, lashes through my memories...

A frantic search for something, anything, to use as a name...

 **[Gamer's Mind attempting to establish controlled compensation for emotional overload!]**

"Johnny". The word rolls out between gritted teeth...

The name is and isn't mine... Johnny is a character I made for a Scion game a friend of mine ran. I poured a lot of myself, a lot of what I wanted to be, into his creation.

The maelstrom of panic and rage tearing through my thoughts begins to slow.

Lips twisting themselves into something ugly, a bitter smirk drawn across my face. Spitting words in defiance through gritted teeth... "Johnny Hind".

John Doe by another name, full of bitter irony. I can feel the beginnings of a deep hatred for the unknowing and uncaring thing that had violated my mind...

 **[Gamer's Mind has returned to a stable state!]**

This gives me a starting point...

 **Name: Johnny Hind (Haindo Joni)**

 **Title: Reincarnated**

 **Race: Human**

 **Class: None**

 **Age: 7**

 **Sex: Male**

 **Level: 1**

 **Experience: 0/100 to next Level**

 **HP: 70 / 70**

 **HP Regeneration: .7 per hour**

 **CP: 75 / 75**

 **CP Regeneration: 1.7 per hour**

 **STM: 35 / 35**

 **STM Regeneration: .7 per hour**

 **STR: 7**

 **VIT: 7**

 **DEX: 5**

 **INT: 15**

 **WIS: 17**

 **CHR: 10**

 **LUK: 6**

 **Description: Johnny Hind is the newest individual to receive the Power of The Gamer. Sure that this is a vicious and unfunny joke on the part of the R.O.B. that is fucking with him, he has begun to make what were paranoid plans (Now feels fully justified) to gain power for the purpose of survival in his new world. The R.O.B. who had been laughing at his plans, has realized just how badly "it" had fucked him over... It is no longer laughing.**

 **[Edit Appearance]**

I don't know how long I was floating in the darkness, just staring at the screen. When my senses finally cleared, there was something new floating next to the open status screen.

A small golden screen, the words to small to read...

Reaching out to it, an image blooms in my mind...

Luminous blue eyes, the silver pupils open wide in panic, tears shimmering in them...

A sense of femininity, shock, and sadness...

Expanding in front of my eyes, the words on the golden screen become clear...

 **{"I'm sorry... I didn't know! Please don't hate me...}**

I can't help shaking my head and chuckling... It's one of those "laugh or scream" moments.

Of course whoever did this to me is a girl, that's exactly how my luck works

Letting out a deep sigh as I feel the anger and frustration slowly ebb away...

"Alright... Alright. "

I can't stay mad at a girl, not for long anyways. It's just not in my nature, or how I was raised... And this one seems... young. If I am guessing right, she's horribly inexperienced. There's almost a sense of innocence, if that word can even be applied to a R.O.B.

"Look, you say that you didn't know what would happen, right?"

No change to the screen...

"Okay then, I just have one thing to ask, please... Please don't do anything else "random".

Can't help doing air quotes...

"Let me do this on my own, let me..."

My voice trails of at the difficulty of how hard it is to convey my thoughts and feelings...

"Let me succeesucceed or fail on my own, don't fu-mess with my destiny, fate, whatever you want to call it... Okay?"

The shimmering, golden screen changes...

 **{"Okay..."}**

Chuckling while I shake my head at the situation I'm in, I turn my eyes back to the blue light of the status screen, just to see several new screens have popped up.

 **[Due to confronting the existential nature of reality and your very being, you gain the following: An additional 5 to Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma!]**

 **[Due to gaining a new name and identity from your past memories, you have gained the ability to synchronize with "Johnny Deveroux", the characterization you used!]**

 **[Synchronize: Yes/No ]**

Ohhh Yes indeed... Let's see what synchronizing with my "Predator of the Streets" demi-god asshole-self gets me...

I have the feeling that I'm gonna need the power...


	5. Chapter 5 Facing myself Literally

Chapter 5. Facing myself... Literally

Author's Note: Here's hoping that all of the readers enjoy the newest chapter(s). Going to be doing some editing on my previous chapters... Trying different things with the writing function of my phone. Hopefully it takes this time around!

The moment I triggered the prompt I can feel an indescribable rush, a boiling flow of power that slams through me.

I can see solidity flowing into my shadowy, indistinct flesh. A tingling burn rushes from the center of my body, carrying with it bone, muscle and dark grey toned skin in a layered wave.

I can't help gasping as the sensations die off, the feeling of my new formed lungs drawing air. Hitching breaths that leave me almost light headed and giddy.

"What a rush..." The voice that reaches my ears is different from what I was expecting, deeper, more resonant.

 **[Due to synchronizing, you gain the following traits: Luck of the Devil, Dark Sight, Chakra Sight(Note: The traits Dark Sight Chakra Sight may be combined into a new perk: Doujutsu: Akumagon), Predatory Grace, and Predatory Might!]**

 **[Due to synchronizing, you gain the following: An additional 2 to Strength, Vitality, and Dexterity, an additional 3 to Wisdom and Luck, as well as a 5 to Charisma!]**

Wow... that was... Something. Let's see what's changed... "Status".

 **Name: Johnny Hind(Joni Haindo)**

 **Race: Human**

 **Age: 7**

 **Sex: Male**

 **Level: 1**

 **Experience: 0 / 100 to Next LV.**

 **HP: 90 / 90**

 **HP Regeneration: .9 per hour**

 **CP: 100 / 100**

 **CP Regeneration: 2.6 per hour**

 **STM: 45 / 45**

 **STM Regeneration: .9 per hour**

 **STR: 9**

 **VIT: 9**

 **DEX: 7**

 **INT: 20**

 **WIS: 25**

 **CHR: 20**

 **LUk: 9**

 **Description: Johnny Hind is the newest individual to receive the Power of The Gamer. Johnny Hind has begun to make plans to gain power for purposes of survival in his new world. The R.O.B. responsible for Johnny's situation has agreed to let "fate" or "destiny " fall as it will.**

 **[Please note: Certain skills, backgrounds, and perks may have an effect on Appearance options. You may wish to wait to finalize your appearance until after these selections. ]**

 **[Edit Appearance]**

That's a good point... Okay then. focusing my eyes on the screen in front of me... _'skills'._

The screen in front of me changes, the color lightening, as the words twist before my eyes...

 **[On this screen you will find the following: The name of the SBP (skill, background, or perk.), whether the SBP is a Passive or Active(Passive means that the SPB is always affecting the character, an Active SPB also the SBP's current level, and a brief description.**

 **Skills, Perks, and Backgrounds**

 **Gamer's Mind (Passive)**

 **Level: Maximum**

 **Description: This perk allows the character to maintain** **a calm state of mind in the face of adversity. Renders the character immune to mind control and mental status effects.**

 **Gamer's Body (Passive)**

 **Level: Maximum**

 **Description: This perk allows the character body to react like an RPG character's. Allows healing of status effects and restoration of HP, CP and Stamina through sleep.**

 **Doujutsu: Akumagon (Passive/Active)**

 **Cost: 5 CP per minute.**

 **Level: 1. 0 / 100 Experience**

 **Description: This skill is the result of combining Chakra Sight and Dark Sight. At this level the perk allows the character to see in low light conditions and view faint traces of a target's emotions in their chakra.**

 **The** **character's** **unactivated eyes are a solid black, a darkness that ripples with all of the shimmering rainbow of color present in a raven's wing or a puddle of spilled ink. When activated a starburst of silver lines and glowing pin-pricks spreads from the center of the eye, a microcosm born in an instant.**

 **Passive Effects**

 **See in complete darkness at a current maximum of 6 ft.**

 **provides protection from visual stun effects.**

 **Active Effects**

 **gain low light vision(requires a source of light i.e. starlight, moonlight, etc.) at a current maximum of 20 ft.**

 **at current level shows a vague shimmer-halo of color representing a person's emotions. This also provides chakra sight up to the same distance as current low light vision maximum.**

 **Luck of the Devil (Passive)**

 **Level: Maximum**

 **Description: Certain people sseem to have all the luck! The character having this perk seems to be one of these individuals, blessed by something or someone(R.O.B. duhh).**

 **Passive Effects**

 **gain an additional 2 to Luck per character Level.**

 **gain an additional 10 percent to critical hit and critical chance occurrence.**

 **Predatory Grace (Passive)**

 **Level: Maximum**

 **Description: This perk endows the character with all of the fascinating grace inherent in the movement of large predators.**

 **Passive Effects**

 **gain an additional 1 to Dexterity and Charisma per Character Level.**

 **gain an additional 5 percent to movement speed.**

 **Predatory Might (Passive)**

 **Level: Maximum**

 **Description: This perk endows the character with all of the awe inspiring strength of large predators.**

 **Passive Effects**

 **gain an additional 1 to Strength and Vitality per Character Level.**

 **gain an additional 10 percent to HP and STM per Character Level.**

Sweet damn... Talk about overpowered! Maybe not at first, but the long term gains of the "predatory" skills will pay off... If I live long enough.

Huh, wonder if there's anything else to do with skills and stuff? I want to get everything out of the way before I start editing how I look, especially if it's gonna give me more options... And another screen pops up...

 **[Due to the nature of your last world and incarnation, you have the following available: 30,000 Karma Points(KP)!]**

I can't help but wonder if this is a large amount... And if it is, what the hell did I do to earn it?

 **[Welcome to the KP Store! Here you can find the things to truly customize your Character! Everything from Gear and Skills to Backgrounds and Perks! These things and more are available here, for the right price of course! No Refunds!]**

 **[KP Remaining: 30K]**

The sheer amount of selections on the screen floating in front of me... All of the small blocks of words ans sumbols seem to run together... It's a mind boggling blur that has me snapping my eyes shut. Shaking my head to try to bring back my focus, I lock my eyes onto the labels at the top of the listings.

 **Time Period \- This is the point in time in which your character finds themselves. The farther back along the time line, the more KP it will cost the character(i.e. Naruto Enters Academy -1 month costs 100 KP).**

 **Country \- This is the country that the character begins in. This choice may limit the availability of whether or not the character can receive training as a Shinobi (Ninja).**

 **Village \- This is the Village/Town/City. that the character starts in. This choice may limit the availability of whether or not the character can receive training as a Shinobi (Ninja).**

 **Clan \- This is the Clan the character is born into, the Civilian Born and Orphan backgrounds are also located in this section. Clans may also be selected as a Heritage Background(Up to two may be chosen as a Heritage, allowing you access the bloodline traits of the Clan, but at an increased cost).**

 **Bloodline \- This is the listing of bloodlines a character has available due to Clan or Heritage Backgrounds.**

 **Gear \- This is the listing for everything from starting ninja equipment to civilian resources. This includes everything from one of the Seven Swords, a standard set of kunai, to deeds to property and lands in a village or country. **

**General \- This listing contains general Perks and Backgrounds. Everything from the various Prodigy lists(i.e. Taijutsu, Ninjutsu, Art, Cooking, etc.), all the way to the Descriptor lists (i.e. Genius, Fangirl, Feral, Emo, etc.).**

All right... First priority: Survival.

And survival equals power, especially in the Elemental Nations, and power usually equals Clan and Village...

And damnit all, I am not staying out of the big conflict, even if it means dealing with loud orange midgets, even louder green spandex muscle heads, and the stupidity of eye stealing war mongers.

what the hell am I thinking?

 **Time Period \- Main: NEA -5**

 **This is the Main Story Arc, minus 5 months before NEA (Naruto Enters Academy) event.**

 **Cost: 500 KP**

 **Country \- Land of Fire**

 **One of the five great ninja villages.**

 **Cost: 1k KP**

 **Village \- Konoha **

**Village hidden in the Leaves.**

 **Cost: 1k KP**

 **Clan \- Orphan**

 **Either living in one of Konoha's orphanages, or in an apartment by yourself payed for by the Konoha Orphan's Fund. One of the benefits is a lack of heavy supervision, one of the negatives is a lack of anything beyond the most basic level of education.**

 **Cost: 500 KP**

 **Clan \- Uzumaki (Heritage)**

 **Ruling clan of the Village Hidden in the Whirlpool, ally of Konoha, a now near extinct and scattered clan. You gain the following: An additional 20 percent to CP, HP, and STM per Character Level, as well as access to Uzumaki bloodline purchase list.**

 **Cost: 6k KP**

 **Clan \- Senju (Heritage)**

 **One of the founding clans of The Village Hidden in the Leaves, Konoha. Last "known" member is Lady Tsunade of the Sannen. You gain the following: An additional 10 percent to CP, HP, and STM per Character Level, as well as access to the Senju bloodline purchase list.**

 **Cost: 5k KP**

 **Bloodline \- Uzumaki \- Dense Chakra**

 **You have inherited the famously dense and large chakra capacity of the Uzumaki! You gain the following: An additional 50 percent to CP and CP Regeneration per Character Level. Reduce the Experience gained for the Chakra Control skill by 25 percent.**

 **Cost: 3k KP**

 **Bloodline \- Uzumaki \- Uzustoppable**

 **You have inherited the famed unending stamina of the Uzumaki clan! It is known to be easier to break steel and stone than the staying power of the Uzumaki! You gain the following: An additional 3 to Vitality per Character Level , as well as an additional 50 HP and 100 STM per Character Level.**

 **Cost: 3k KP**

 **Bloodline \- Senju \- SenjuTality**

 **You have inherited the famed life force of the Senju clan! It is know for Senju to survive illnesses, age, poisons, and plagues that have slain lesser individuals in their tracks! You gain the following: An additional 2 to Vitality per Character Level , as well as an additional 10 percent to HP Regeneration per Character Level.**

 **Cost: 2k KP**

Okay I have...

 **[KP Remaining: 8k]**

"I can do basic math..." I can't help grumbling at the screen interrupting my thoughts.

I'm not going to purchase any of the big bloodline traits, definitely not the Moukuton... That's just asking for the Danzou Mind-Fuckery Special.

Enough about the most misguided traitor to Konaha... I still have points to spend!

Hmm... gonna worry about gear last. So, onto the general listings... Ohhh Yes!

 **Regenerator (Passive)**

 **Level: Maximum**

 **Description: Due to a bloodline, a blessing by the spirits, or just being that damned healthy, you heal at a much higher rate than you should have any right too! The rate of regeneration is noticeably unnatural.**

 **Passive Effect**

 **gain an additional 1 to Vitality per Character Level.**

 **change HP Regeneration rate from per hour to per minute.**

 **gain 10 percent of your HP as an addition to your HP Regeneration rate per Character Level.**

 **Cost: 3k KP**

 **Spiritual Powerhouse (Passive)**

 **Level: Maximum**

 **Description: Due to a bloodline, the blessings of spirits, or just being that in touch with yourself, you radiate the lifeblood of the ninja arts: Chakra!**

 **Passive Effects**

 **gain an additional 1 to Wisdom and Intelligence per Character Level.**

 **gain 10 percent of your CP as an addition to your CP Regeneration rate per Character Level.**

 **Cost: 3k KP**

 **Unending Endurance (Passive)**

 **Level: Maximum**

 **Description: Having the ability to exert great physical effort for hours will help with many arts, whether those are the Marital or Martial, is up to you!**

 **Passive Effects**

 **gain 10 percent of your STM as an addition to your STM Regeneration rate per Character Level.**

 **Cost: 2k KP**

And done with the Karmic bullshit! Huh, made myself into a front line ninja tank... This can only end well... Or in fire.

 **[Due to making well thought out and insightful decisions about your futu... Who are we trying to fool here... For being a Twinking Munchkin Bastard from the depths of GM Hell, you gain the following: An additional 1 to all Base Stats, You Twinking Twinker!]**

"Snerk"

Nope... Not even gonna try to stop myself from falling over when I bust up laughing at the pop up...

Who knows how long it took me to stop laughing, I don't...

Okay... back under control.

 **[Edit Appearance]**

All of the open screens and notifications close, and a new one bursts to life in front of me...

Annnd there's a naked, grey skinned, short kid that sorta looks like me on the screen. Just standing there... arms and legs slightly outstretched... Just a-swingin in the non-existant breeze.

"Sigh..."

Looking down at myself... Yeah, I should have saved some KP for gear... Namely, pants.

Next to the Image-O'-Embarrassment are several dozen sliders. This seems to be intuitive enough, change the slider, change the character's Appearance...

Losing myself to the fiddly little intricate bits for who knows how long... When I finally came back to my senses and looked at the image... It was me, or I should say, the me I would want to be...

Copper-blonde hair falling in waves to catch the light. Eyebrows rising in an arch over thick eye lashes the same shade as the hair flowing down the back...

The facial features sharp angled and clean, as eye-catching as the shimmering flash of a blade...

Eyes a solid, shimmering ink spill of black, so dark they shine with all the color of raven's feather...

Lips set in a small smile... Full of mischievous smirks and secrets kept behind sharp, white teeth...

Skin toned and smooth as a dark coffee with a single spoonful of cream, a permanent sun-kissed tan...

An athlete's build, muscles in twisted cables ran across a lean frame, each fiber distinct under the skin...

Damn I'm pretty... This might cause problems... Just hopefully not fangirls.

Pressing the button to finalize my appearance, a new set of text appears...

 **[Tutorial will be continued after Reincarnation/Re-Embodiment.]**

 **[Beginning process in 3... 2.. 1.]**

Light suddenly stabbing into my eyes...

"Oh Fuc..."

And everything fades away...


End file.
